accountability is my love language
I’m a list maker. There’s something so satisfying and calming about seeing all the noise of my brain listed neatly on paper, looking much more orderly than it feels. What seemed overwhelming while circling through my mind seems much more manageable when it’s tangible and in front of me. The dopamine hit that comes from crossing items off and a book full of neatly colour coded pages doesn’t hurt either.
One of the weirdest but most effective parts of my list making, and how it impacts my creative life, is how motivating it can be to share that list and have a second set of eyeballs on my daily agenda.
I can have a list written, and still find myself procrastinating and doing anything except what I am supposed to be doing - even if that “supposed to” is something fun I WANT to do. But should I drop in the chat, tell my friend & podcast partner that I’m feeling blah and can’t be bothered doing the thing…well guess who suddenly has a rush of mojo and is doing the thing they didn’t feel like doing fifteen seconds ago?
It’s something we’ve talked about on the podcast a bit - how our personality styles impact our creative processes. For those into such things, I’m a 6w5 (thought could also be a 5w6), and an Obliger tendency. I took the Four Tendencies quiz when we first started brainstorming that episode, and rolled into the chat with the results.
“I’m an Obliger”
“Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious”.
Up until that point, I hadn’t really noticed the connection. I knew that I thrived on accountability and measurable goals and competition (even if that competition was racing the kindle to get my book finished faster than what it told me was the time remaining). Occasionally, I’d noticed that to speak my blockage out loud would prompt me to get off my butt, but it was always an observation of just that instance, a series of individual “oh how funny is that” moments. It was connecting the dots of all those seemingly unconnected events that really changed how I faced up to challenges and stumbling blocks.
With self-awareness and the deeper understanding of my brain, it’s the power of bringing those blocks into the light and sharing them, that has formed a vital tool in my creative practice. If I’m feeling stuck - say it out loud. I think it is partly why I cling to my blog, a decade after it ceased to be cool. It’s something tangible and public to document my plans and process. It’s why I love substack where I share fortnightly updates on a big project and my newsletter where I’m accountable to my subscribers to share a month’s worth of content and monthly markers on instagram where I share my top three goals for the month.
Make it public, make it happen.
I think part of what drives the habit, preference, motivator - whatever we want to call it, is it allows me and what I do to be seen in a way most of my daily activities aren’t. For the past seventeen years, I’ve been a stay at home mum; I packed up my office for the last time on 11th August, 2006, and never went back to work. Before kids, I was an accountant, and “being seen” was baked into every part of every day - timesheets, job books, team meetings and productivity targets. My time was documented all day, one unit at a time, 6 or 15 minute blocks listing my progress.
In many ways, it was perfect for my brain. I could see at a glance my productivity rate for the day. I could update the job book and the entire team could see I made a step towards the finish line. And then I became a mum. There were no timesheets to complete and have approved, no leaderboards for the highest number of nappy changes. So much of my to-do list in motherhood is about maintenance, not progress. I can wash a load of clothes today and there’s going to be more tomorrow. There’s no such thing as a finish line.
As I learned new routines and found gaps in my dat, I rediscovered my love of crafting and started blogging. In amongst the invisible, constant, unending “doing” that filled my days, I could once again say “see? look! I finished a thing!” - and have my friends send me a virtual pat on the back.
Just like I used to watch my productivity rate and try and beat it, now I use that kindle time counter down, or the estimated finish date in my cross stitch app, to race myself. Instead of a job book, I have my blog, instagram, my daily 3x3 lists in the private chat thread. A little hit of the happy brain chemicals when I can tick something off, and have something to share. Look, see, I’ve done something today (even if it looks like I haven’t).
I read, a while back, about the concept of body doubling, and it made so much sense when I read it and thought about my brain’s dumb habit of not working until I said my blocks out loud. It struck me, as I read about how it can be used for focus and productivity, that the sharing of lists and goals is a bit like the virtual version of body doubling. It removes the excuses I like to tell myself about why I can’t do the thing. It shows me how ridiculous I’m being in delaying - “I want to knit but also can’t be bothered”. It’s not too bad if it’s the narrative in my head, but it’s a bonkers thing to say out loud, and in the saying, my Obliger self can hear the crazy and then do something about it (mostly so I don’t have to justify to someone else why I didn’t just do the thing in that time it took me to moan about it). It gives me nowhere to hide. Once I’ve said it out loud, I know there is someone who can say “hey, how’s that thing going?” - and I have to have an answer to that.
It seems silly, but it works. If I can trick the silly monkey brain into doing what I want it to do, I’ll call it a success, even if it is a little offbeat. Now, if you see me on the inter webs this afternoon, kick me in the butt and send me to my craft room? That cross stitch is not going to finish ahead of the Monday projection on it’s own.
ON THE CRAFT TABLE THIS WEEK
ONE// new toooooy!! I think I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve been dreaming and planning for a loom, and in a most joyful happenstance, a brand new, never used loom in the exact model I wanted was on marketplace! I am beyond obsessed with this new hobby
TWO// I finally got my jumper cast off and blocked and the relief to clear that off may to-do list after 10 months is quite strong. Another instance of making my accountability loving brain work for me - I started taking it to homeschool group knowing I would be asked every catch up until it was done.
THREE// The current race to the finish - 1345 stitches to go an my app is predicting I’ll be finished on the 11th. I’m aiming for before lunch on the 9th…wish me luck (both in finishing, and keeping my children’s thieving mitts off the finished piece because this one is alllll mine).
Somewhere in the last week, I lost touch with all sense of time and managed to completely skip a week of substacking. I’m behind on editing my 100 Days photos, and on my 365 mini cards (am I surprised? Not even a little). I am feeling a bit more productive this week, so I’m hoping a busy couple of days & evenings of playing catch up and I might be on top of it again. In amongst the catch up, I want to start assembling my first art piece for the series I’ve been sharing with my paid subscribers, and get this month’s freebie made up for my instagram bookclub. And of course, lots of quality time with my new loom - I think I’m slowly getting the hang of it!
Have a creative week, friends. What’s on your to-make list this week?
How exciting to have found the loom you wanted! It looks like you are creating beautiful woven designs already! Enjoy every minute :)