on mindset, self-sabotage, and creativity

I’m a numbers nerd. Always have been. When it comes to my blog, or the substack, I love the little stats box that gives me that numbery dopamine hit; all that raw data and neat graphs, it tickles my brain in just the right way. Watching trends is super interesting for sure, but my favourite part? Seeing the posts from the archives pop up; seeing what rabbit holes people fall down as they jump from post to post. After 15 years of blogging, and approximately 3000 different hobbies tried over that time, there’s a LOT of rabbit holes to fall down.

Yesterday, a post popped up that I hadn’t thought about since…probably sine the day after it was written, back in September 2021. Someone’s rabbit hole dive had brought it back up into my sphere of notice though, and it was fun to read what me of two and a half years ago was thinking. It was, quite possibly, the perfect post for me to read as I ruminate on my current state - filled to the brim with ideas, but at the same time, I’m almost paralysed with the thought of actually starting any of them.

It was a good reminder that whatever I make, it doesn’t need to be perfect, especially straight out of the gate, especially for a project that is just for me. It’s a reminder to do it for the process.

And a process it is, just like the mindset shift to allow new forms of creativity into my life. The last few weeks I've felt that shift really click into place, allowing me to embrace inspiration strikes and how I incorporate them into my creative practice. Having made the first move on a series of artworks I’ve been contemplating for almost six months, I am suddenly seeing possibility everywhere. It’s like I’ve let myself free of the idea that art is for “other people”, that I need to stick to more practical, procedural, craft-style projects.

I’m not an artist, by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m not going to let that stop me from enjoying the process of making art.

Since shifting my mindset to view art as something I’m “allowed” to play with, I'm finding inspiration all over the place. There’s a zine I want to make featuring accidental liminal lifestyle art. There’s a photo-based mixed media series that tickled my attention last week as I stood day dreaming waiting for a friend. Over on insta, there was a prompt/call out that feels like something I could take a run at, even if I don’t submit to the actual call. Even in my current works, I managed to add another two ideas for companion pieces just yesterday.

It’s like a dam has broken on all the years I’ve told myself I’m not artistic, to stick to what I know. The final hurdle, then is getting out of my own way. In the fear of the blank page and the fear of being less than perfect, I’ve been letting those ideas sit, taking up space in my brain instead of on the page where I could be tweaking and expanding and learning from. Inertia has me beholden to inaction, leaving my brain to scream at me with those enemies of creating - shoulda woulda coulda. With so many ideas, and a clean work table, the time to rip off the bandaid and just start is now.

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ON THE CRAFT TABLE THIS WEEK

one// I finally got around to weaving on the weekend, and am currently on attempt two of making a frame loom do fancier things than it was intended for (as I continue to make noises about a table loom for mothers day)

two// the Monday after the weekend before. Weaving, gel printing, project life catch up…the craft room bore the brunt of Cyclone Rachy With A Million Ideas.

three// yesterday was our eight-weekly visit to the big smoke for the kids to see the orthodontist, and I always take a moment to swing my the art shop. Yesterday I collected lots of goodies for the next stage of the art project I shared last week.

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Today is a day of bouncing from one lesson to another to a meeting to a volunteer shift. It’s one of my busiest days of the week. And yet, somewhere after writing the words above - “the time to just start is now” - they actual sunk in, and I managed to carve out time for a quick collage page in my sketchbook. Suddenly, I feel much better, and less stressed. One idea out of my head, thirty thousand to go…

What are you making this week? -Rach